I am extremely proud of myself for accomplishing many goals in my young adult life. However, at times, intrusive thoughts creep into my head: I should be doing more. Out of nowhere, these thoughts will hit me like a ton of bricks, creating immense anxiety. I'm suddenly panicked, thinking I am running out of time, I need to do more! What new skill should I pick up? I'm instantly, angry and upset because it seems as though I've hit a roadblock, rapidly running out of time to reach certain milestones or master some new skill.

For the longest time, I couldn't pinpoint why I felt this immense pressure that I should be married with a family, traveling overseas, pursuing entrepreneurial type roles, and all around redefining my life. Then I started to pay more attention to my environment.

When I finally took a step back and looked at the environment I was immersed in, I realized that most of this unexplained fear came from the internet—social media, to be exact. The internet can be a very inspiring tool, motivating people to find a niche and excel in it. That may mean becoming a fitness guru, fashion blogger, podcaster, etc. But if you allow it, social media can also breed a false identity, with pressure to invest in hobby that you are not truly passionate about and possibly taking on more than you can handle.

Social media can also foster a false sense of what “success” should look like. For example, it may lead people to feel as though they should look a certain way or achieve certain milestones at a particular time. If you're not married with children at specific age, you're failing. Or if you're not working for yourself and traveling across the globe, you must be living a lazy, plain ol’ boring life.
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Whatever the particulars, a false definition of success can result in a negative self-image and feelings of failure. In actuality, this is the furthest from the truth. We tend to live in society that focuses on the end result or the rewards, while failing to emphasize the process and the challenges. Instead of falling into the trap of feeling as though you are not doing enough, remember to utilize these five tools, which can improve your sense of self-efficacy and minimize societal pressures.

 It is extremely easy to fall into the trap of feeling guilty for not achieving every goal set or not progressing as much as you would have liked throughout the year. I know that I almost allowed myself to throw a pity party because at times it felt as though I was moving at a caterpillar’s speed, to reach financial stability and other personal goals. I had to reflect and be reminded that this year has been a wild and unpredictable roller coaster for many people worldwide, just due to COVID-19 wreaking havoc. I have learned to not bask in the “would haves” and “could haves,” and instead rejoice and be grateful for all the progress made, for little progress is better than none. I want to challenge my readers to complete these 3 things to help boost enthusiasm for the new year and to provide a clear sense of direction.

Naturally, humans long for meaningful connections and communication with other people, so when you develop that special bond with someone, whether it be a significant other or friend, it can be hard to admit when the connection is fading. Personally, it was a challenge for me when it came to relationships/friendships ending because I always held high hopes, believing that every connection I made should last forever. Truth be told, some people are only meant to be in your life for a season and that was a hard pill I had to swallow.

We help create toxicity and heartache on ourselves when we fail to acknowledge when someone’s time is up in our lives, secretly justifying why they should stay. I just turned 27 years old this month and no matter how much older I become, it’s always sad to come to terms with and accept the fact that someone was only meant to be in your life for a time period. Sometimes things just go sour with no real explanation, and sometimes people grow apart. No matter the cause or situation, I have learned to trust my discernment on people and let things go without any fuss or fight. If it is meant to be, maybe one day you will reconnect with that person, but for now let us be honest with ourselves and learn to recognize the signs that may point to an ending connection.

“What is meant for you will be for you.” I have heard this saying so much throughout my life, but it really was not until recently that I began to really embody the statement and truly believe it. As previously discussed in older blogs, I battle with anxiety which stems from periods of uncertainty, ultimately leading to self-doubt. There have been times where I deeply pondered and silently asked myself “1. Am I called to do this? 2. Am I cut out to do this? 3. Should I quit?”
 
In actuality it’s quite human to have these questions run across your mind especially during challenging, uncertain, and uncomfortable times; but it is essential to dispel those thoughts, especially if they start to generate self-doubt and self-pity. I can honestly say that I was improving on challenging and dispelling illogical thought patterns, until I was recently tested in regards to my blog’s progress or lack thereof.