5/18/2022 0 Comments
I am extremely proud of myself for accomplishing many goals in my young adult life. However, at times, intrusive thoughts creep into my head: I should be doing more. Out of nowhere, these thoughts will hit me like a ton of bricks, creating immense anxiety. I'm suddenly panicked, thinking I am running out of time, I need to do more! What new skill should I pick up? I'm instantly, angry and upset because it seems as though I've hit a roadblock, rapidly running out of time to reach certain milestones or master some new skill.
For the longest time, I couldn't pinpoint why I felt this immense pressure that I should be married with a family, traveling overseas, pursuing entrepreneurial type roles, and all around redefining my life. Then I started to pay more attention to my environment.
When I finally took a step back and looked at the environment I was immersed in, I realized that most of this unexplained fear came from the internet—social media, to be exact. The internet can be a very inspiring tool, motivating people to find a niche and excel in it. That may mean becoming a fitness guru, fashion blogger, podcaster, etc. But if you allow it, social media can also breed a false identity, with pressure to invest in hobby that you are not truly passionate about and possibly taking on more than you can handle.
Social media can also foster a false sense of what “success” should look like. For example, it may lead people to feel as though they should look a certain way or achieve certain milestones at a particular time. If you're not married with children at specific age, you're failing. Or if you're not working for yourself and traveling across the globe, you must be living a lazy, plain ol’ boring life.
Whatever the particulars, a false definition of success can result in a negative self-image and feelings of failure. In actuality, this is the furthest from the truth. We tend to live in society that focuses on the end result or the rewards, while failing to emphasize the process and the challenges. Instead of falling into the trap of feeling as though you are not doing enough, remember to utilize these five tools, which can improve your sense of self-efficacy and minimize societal pressures.
Generally when the holidays are approaching it's supposed to be a cheerful and enthusiastic time for making special, everlasting memories with loved ones. It is also a time to give back to your community and others, ultimately cultivating a spirit of thankfulness and gratitude. While the holidays are intended to be a lively time, for some they can bring about feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and depression. Maybe you've lost a loved one around this time of the year and it evokes painful memories. Or maybe you're single and don't have many family and friends to celebrate with, leaving you feeling alone. There are countless situations that that can lead to someone dreading this time of season; however, remember, that you're not alone! Below are tips on how to combat sadness and depression during the holidays.
9/8/2021 0 Comments
Every day I am reminded of the daily tasks I must accomplish to have a productive week, whether in my personal or work life. Throughout my blog, I have openly discussed the anxiety that I face, but as time goes by, I have gained more insight into some of the stressors that have led to these feelings of anxiousness. There's one specific issue I've encountered numerous times and what I have identified as a main contributor to my anxiety, which is difficulty living in the “now.”
For me, living in the exact present moment and freeing my mind of any future goals or tasks that need to be completed is almost like pulling teeth. It's as if my mind is constantly racing: full of thoughts about the next thing I need to do or the next phase in my life I'm anticipating. In your late 20s, it can be a little discouraging when you look at others or simply examine your own life and notice that there are still many life events that seem to be hanging in the distance, seeming unattainable or something that just won’t happen for you.
Have you ever prayed extremely hard for a professional opportunity, and then when it manifests, you find yourself drained, ultimately questioning if you should even be there? If so, you are not alone—I have found myself in that exact position a couple of times before. Being in that particular situation can evoke various feelings; for me, it was mostly guilt for complaining after working my butt off to secure the position in the first place.
Lets face it: the workplace can develop and sharpen professional skills, but can also create stress. I have often found myself overcome with excitement due to finally working in a particular position I had hoped for, until being faced with high demands and challenging tasks. Don't get me wrong, I pride myself in being able to overcome these daily challenges because it is beneficial to my professional growth, but I slowly began to notice the impact it had on me after I clocked out.
Every job has its pros and cons; however, I became more self-aware of certain mistakes that I was making, which was a source of fuel for my stress. After becoming more aware of the things that I could control, I have been able to address and manage workplace stress by utilizing several strategies.
It is extremely easy to fall into the trap of feeling guilty for not achieving every goal set or not progressing as much as you would have liked throughout the year. I know that I almost allowed myself to throw a pity party because at times it felt as though I was moving at a caterpillar’s speed, to reach financial stability and other personal goals. I had to reflect and be reminded that this year has been a wild and unpredictable roller coaster for many people worldwide, just due to COVID-19 wreaking havoc. I have learned to not bask in the “would haves” and “could haves,” and instead rejoice and be grateful for all the progress made, for little progress is better than none. I want to challenge my readers to complete these 3 things to help boost enthusiasm for the new year and to provide a clear sense of direction.
10/24/2020 0 Comments
Naturally, humans long for meaningful connections and communication with other people, so when you develop that special bond with someone, whether it be a significant other or friend, it can be hard to admit when the connection is fading. Personally, it was a challenge for me when it came to relationships/friendships ending because I always held high hopes, believing that every connection I made should last forever. Truth be told, some people are only meant to be in your life for a season and that was a hard pill I had to swallow.
We help create toxicity and heartache on ourselves when we fail to acknowledge when someone’s time is up in our lives, secretly justifying why they should stay. I just turned 27 years old this month and no matter how much older I become, it’s always sad to come to terms with and accept the fact that someone was only meant to be in your life for a time period. Sometimes things just go sour with no real explanation, and sometimes people grow apart. No matter the cause or situation, I have learned to trust my discernment on people and let things go without any fuss or fight. If it is meant to be, maybe one day you will reconnect with that person, but for now let us be honest with ourselves and learn to recognize the signs that may point to an ending connection.
“What is meant for you will be for you.” I have heard this saying so much throughout my life, but it really was not until recently that I began to really embody the statement and truly believe it. As previously discussed in older blogs, I battle with anxiety which stems from periods of uncertainty, ultimately leading to self-doubt. There have been times where I deeply pondered and silently asked myself “1. Am I called to do this? 2. Am I cut out to do this? 3. Should I quit?”
In actuality it’s quite human to have these questions run across your mind especially during challenging, uncertain, and uncomfortable times; but it is essential to dispel those thoughts, especially if they start to generate self-doubt and self-pity. I can honestly say that I was improving on challenging and dispelling illogical thought patterns, until I was recently tested in regards to my blog’s progress or lack thereof.
To wake up and be alive is an amazing gift that we sometimes take for granted. I have noticed that at times, it’s so easy to become fixated on some of the smallest things, or to become wrapped up in the messiness and dramatics of the world. Sometimes we get lost in the hustle and bustle that we forget to really take care of ourselves, mentally, physically, and spiritually.
We tend to forget the importance of voicing our needs, wants, and most importantly, taking the necessary steps to protect our energy and inner peace. We have all probably heard the saying “life is too short” a million times (I mean I’ve literally written it all throughout my previous blog posts) and it may seem so cliché, but it’s so true. We must learn to take care of ourselves and live life to the fullest, but also live as stress-free as possible. The older I become, the more aware I am of how essential it is to start practicing and implementing these four steps in order to protect inner peace.
6/5/2020 0 Comments
A Huge Disclaimer: This is not a blog post to explain what and why we proclaim #BlackLivesMatter, instead of #AllLivesMatter. Furthermore, this is not a blog post to discuss and educate others on white privilege, discrimination, the act of kneeling during the national anthem, systematic racism, etc.
This is not a post for that – well because if you do not understand or get it by now, then I don’t know what to tell you besides look around at the blatant racism and the unique challenges minorities face in this country. With that being said, this post is aimed to encourage a call to action. To help spread the message of what you can do to stand up against police brutality and injustices towards African Americans.
A Little Background
For many generations, African Americans in the United States have faced unequal opportunities, discrimination, prejudices, injustices, and so much more all due to simply being black. Personally, it’s disheartening to know the same country in which my ancestors were forced to come to as slaves and helped build up what it is today, continues to mistreat black people.
Sadly, we are still experiencing racism all by the hands of police officers. Yes, we know that there are always a few “bad apples” in every profession; however there are always consequences for breaking rules and disobeying the ethics of that particular profession. Therefore, these few “bad apples” in the police departments should not be exempt from consequences - for they are not above the law.
A Call to Action
After the murder of George Floyd on May 25, 2020 while in police custody, mass demonstrations have sprung up around the world to draw attention to the ongoing issue of police brutality towards African Americans. In fact, his death is what sparked the creation of this post, because quite frankly enough is enough! I have realized that voicing my thoughts won’t suffice, action is required to reap any hope of change. Below, I have created 7 ways in which you can show your support and fight against injustices towards African Americans.
Historically, protesting has shed light on injustices, ultimately putting pressure on law makers to pass certain laws, and hold people accountable for their wrongful actions. I would encourage those who are looking to find a way to create change to join a protest. However, please be careful and know your rights when participating. If protesting is not your thing, it’s okay – don’t let others make you feel bad for not going out on the frontlines. Please continue to read for other ways that you can help.
2. Use Your Platform
Spread awareness by using your voice through social media to share or post resources and ways people can join the fight towards ending police brutality.
3. Vote. Vote. Vote.
Sometimes I hear excuses such as, “My vote doesn’t count,” “I’m not registered,” “I just moved to a new state” as reasons for missing out on an election. I’d like to encourage my readers to not be blinded by excuses. We need people in office that will stand up and work for black people and other minorities. To be honest, a lot of the times these elections are super close; therefore your vote is needed and really does count. Oh and let me just say this… please be mindful that voting for the president is not enough. To invoke change, it starts locally!
Donating money can also further propel these organizations that are aimed at fighting police brutality and bringing equality for black people. Interested in donating? Check out this list below:
5. Sign Petitions
Here is a list of a couple petitions that you can also sign to show your support
6. Support Black Owned Businesses
Show your support by patronizing at black owned establishments. Spread the word about their establishments to further increase sales. Whether it’s a restaurant, blogging site, clothing boutique, etc, uplift these businesses!
7. Stay Educated
Lastly, please stay abreast to new knowledge, current events, and available resources. Knowledge is power!
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